May 24, 2023

Welcome to Frictionless, a twice-monthly newsletter that focuses on the Power of Questions to help you identify and resolve customer pain points, write stronger long-form content (case studies, RFP responses, and articles), and be more confident asking the questions everyone has. I subscribe to 80+ newsletters & Google Alerts so you don’t have to.

STARTING LINE

Over the years, I've been told I should write shorter emails, sit up straighter in meetings, and slow down when I present. I've tried to address that last one by writing SLOW DOWN at the top of each of my speech and presentation notes. I recently advised my daughter -- also a passionate, fast talker -- to do the same.

I've been asking questions my entire professional life -- as a reporter, as a sales coach, and as someone who manages high-profile clients. But it's only been in the Age of Zoom that I've paid more attention to the critical role that asking questions plays in innovation, problem solving, and career advancement. But most meetings tend to be full of platitudes and crickets, with participants who either aren't asking questions out of fear of looking stupid (when everyone else has the same question), of being seen as one-upping the presenter, or just failing to have a good question. It's one of the reasons this newsletter focuses on Questions.

So let's apply the SLOW DOWN approach to presentations to the art of asking questions. My tip of the week is to write something at the top of each page on your meeting notes to remind you. Do it in all caps or use exclamation points. A few examples (and yes, there is some overlap):

1. OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS (questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no): These start with words like What, What Else, Which, and Why.

2. W.H.A.T: The W is essentially the open-ended questions above. H is for Hypothesize, A is Answer Questions With Questions (judiciously to avoid irritating the other person), and T is for Tell Me More. This is the one I use thanks to working for years with Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski at the Shapiro Negotiations Institute.

3. WHY-WHAT IF-HOW. A model developed by Warren Berger in his book A More Beautiful Question. Think of it as a framework that guides you through different forms of inquiry. It works well as part of a customer call, but not as well on a staff meeting on Zoom.

4. START-STOP-KEEP. This is particularly useful for strategy discussions or meetings to get the team back on track. The longer question is "What should we START doing?" and so on. This can work particularly well if you ask everyone to bring three ideas for each question. A good follow-up for leaders is "What would help you move as fast as you want?" This one was apparently created by Phil Daniels, a psychology professor at Brigham Young University.

Let me know if you have a different framework you use and I'll include it (with credit) in a future post.

For notetaking, I use a format where I create a column along the right-hand side of the page. Notes go on the left side. The right-hand column captures Meeting Decisions, Questions I Want to Ask, and Action Items (with deadlines if possible). You can also use that column as a parking lot for ways to address pain points that emerge from key insights. I review the notes the same day or early the next morning and use a highlighter for or circle the critical next steps.

-- Peter

QUESTIONS PEOPLE ARE ASKING ME

1. How much time should I spend preparing for an interview? This is a toughie because I fully embrace the adage that "preparation is the only thing over which you have total control." Kara Swisher (and the late, great Larry King) have said they don't prepare too much but they're two of the best interviewers on the planet (as Kara says in the article, "there's no such thing as a bad interview subject, only a bad interviewer.") I do background research, have some goals, and prepare open-ended questions (including a few I suspect they've haven't been asked before) in hopes of loosening them up. Side note: I'd have linked to the Larry King story from Inc. magazine but they firewalled the interview for non-subscribers so...

2. Is it thought leadership if I have to pay to publish it? I vote no. I do have a Google Alert that serves up plenty of examples of "thought leadership" from members of various fee-based "Forbes Councils." These are basically somewhat higher-quality sponsored content that get your message out but don't meet the threshold of "providing their customers with their best thinking on solving their problems." (definition thanks to Bob Buday) Some are bylined and others let "members" weigh in on the same topic (something LinkedIn is also doing without charge). I welcome your thoughts on whether this is just a way to generate ad dollars by disguising "meh" content as thought leadership in a publication that once had a stronger brand.

3. What’s a great question for a profile or networking encounter to learn more about them? When you're in a bookstore, which section are you drawn to? Alternative for those who don't get out much: When you go onto Amazon, which section are you drawn to?)

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT...

1. NYU Professor and podcaster Scott Galloway wrote a don't-miss post on Storytelling that includes tips on telling better stories that include the importance of listening, evaluating, framing, fearlessness, and delivery.

2. J.R. Moehringer wrote about his experiences ghostwriting Price Harry's Spare memoir for The New Yorker but the essay is about much more than that. It's long but important for anyone who writes for other people's bylines...and for those of you who write for yourselves..

3. Is there anything worse than "Hot Dog Writing (aka Writing by Committee)? The great Ann Handley offers suggestions on avoiding the toxic boredom that often results from writing (and obtaining) approvals from an excessive number of people. Full disclosure: Ann wrote this in February 2022, but it can appear in this newsletter if (1) it's worth resurfacing or (2) I didn't see it the first time around. My newsletter, my rules.

4. Michael Brenner published a B2B Marketer's Guide to Long-Form Content. We had a brief discussion on LinkedIn where he conceded he should have included alignment with the sales team. This is a terrific article, but sales teams MUST demand input into content creation that addresses the questions they hear most often.

​5. Derek Thompson of The Atlantic urged readers to stop trying to ask "smart questions" in a post that argues readers seem to prefer the Big Dumb Question stories. Those stories require the writer to think differently about how they ask questions.

TWEETS THAT ACTUALLY RULE

There are many reasons to leave the often-toxic Twitter platform, but there are also reasons to stick around – like this one from Brian O'Connor quoting Jay Abraham, author of Getting Everything You Can Out of All You've Got: "If you can define the problem better than your target customer, they will automatically assume you have the solution." If that resonates (and it has over the years with many people), think about the questions you'd need to ask to accomplish that goal. Then click on the link to Like or Retweet. Incidentally, Brian is a great Follow.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Rule of 3 in conversation: To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and then once more. The third time's answer is the one closest to the truth."

-- Kevin Kelly, "Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier"

SHAMELESS PLUGs: LINKS TO MY CONTENT

Renewal of partner relationships starts the day you sign the contract. It's not something you can do a few months before expiration. Sit down with your team — including areas outside your team — and talk through what you’ve done well and not as well, and who are your friends (and who aren’t) so you can use each meeting to strengthen the relationship. Here's a checklist (ungated on my website) you can use to develop questions that help you build stronger relationships​

​RFP Corner: Answering the Diversity Question If You're a White Male. The diversity question looms, like a ticking bomb, to the point where you may decide you don't have a chance. As always, I welcome comments on the post itself or drop me a note.

I welcome your comments or suggestions for future issues. Drop me a note here.

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